Surprises
by eprime
Summary: Chapter 1: Remus gets a surprise. Then he gets another one.  Chapter 2: Remus hides, James seeks, and nobody is sure where Sirius is.
1. Chapter 1

It certainly isn't the first time Remus has been grabbed by invisible hands and dragged into the nearest available supply cupboard without so much as a by your leave. He takes it in stride, merely wondering if it is James or Sirius who is currently shoving him into a very uncomfortable and somewhat mildewy-smelling corner.

"Who are we hiding from?" His fingers find the folds of James' invisibility cloak and tug. It's Sirius.

"Everyone," Sirius says, his nose barely inches from Remus'. His voice sounds peculiar and Remus frowns.

"Are you all right?" He can't really make out Sirius' features. Only the barest crack of light comes through the outline of the door.

"I am now." And Sirius' voice really _is_ off. He almost sounds like he's purring.

"You sound like-"

Sirius cuts Remus off unceremoniously with a thorough and very enthusiastic kiss. After a moment of frozen, utter shock Remus struggles, working his hands between them and pushing at Sirius' chest. They break away with a displeased grunt from Sirius and a gasp from Remus.

"Remus," he breathes, trying to hone in on his mouth again, even as Remus frantically twists his head away.

"Sirius! What are you doing?"

"I want you, Remus." Sirius gives up chasing his mouth for the moment and licks and sucks a spot on Remus' neck instead.

"I've wanted you forever. And...and I just couldn't take it anymore," he whispers huskily in between sharp little nibbles.

"Are you-are you serious?"

"Never more so."

Remus can feel him grin wickedly against his throat.

"Want proof?"

And Sirius grabs one of Remus' hands and drags it down to press against the front Sirius' trousers.

"Oh, God," groans Remus, wrenching his hand away and leaving it to flail at his side. "Sirius!"

"I love it when you say my name." Sirius is purring again, right up against Remus' ear and Remus is _still_ in shock, can't believe that he is actually here (awake, not dreaming) in a broom cupboard with the boy (Sirius!) he's been having inappropriate thoughts about for at least a year.

"Come on, Remus," Sirius begs in his most endearing, pleading tone, the one that gets Remus to do whatever he wants every single time. Remus shivers.

"Don't you want me, too?" He dips his tongue in the shell of Remus' ear and slowly traces its contours. Remus groans, and with that he is letting Sirius capture his mouth in another mind-melting kiss, and this time Remus gives into it and kisses back for all he's worth.

Sirius is trapping Remus' wrists against the wall and rubbing up against him with utter abandon. They're grunting and hissing into each other's mouths, tongues colliding sloppy and wild as the friction ignites all their pent up teenage ardor.

It's only a minute before their hips are bucking together with erratic jerks and they come, one right after the other, muffling the sounds of their release-teeth branding Remus' shoulder as Remus turns his face, panting into the mass of soft black hair.

For a moment, Remus is terrified. What are they going to do now? What if Sirius made a mistake and really meant to drag Maeve McClaggan into the cupboard instead? But then Sirius is there again, kissing across Remus' face, his eyelids, temples and cheekbones, licking at the divot between his upper lip and nose.

"God, Remus," he whispers. "You're so perfect. Beautiful. I just want to eat you up over and over again."

His insides churn in pleasurable tingles. Remus can never remember feeling so happy. The only times that compare are when he realized that Sirius and James and Peter had still wanted to be his friend when they discovered his furry little problem and when they had revealed they'd become animagi for him.

"Sirius." He ducked his head, feeling thrilled but shy. "You're the perfect one. I-I can't believe-"

Sirius stopped his words with a finger to his lip and a tender smile.

"Let's stay here all day," he said, brushing a kiss over Remus' lips. "I'll never get enough of you."

Remus sighed as the kiss deepened, allowing himself to wrap his arms around Sirius' waist and hold him closer as Sirius roamed his hands over Remus.

"James," he murmured finally. "James and Peter will be looking for us. It's almost meal time."

"Don't care." Sirius pressed up against him more insistently, nuzzling into Remus' throat and inhaling.

"At least-_Oh_-at least let's go back to the tower," Remus offered weakly. "More comfortable there."

"That's true." Sirius sounded happier. "Lots of beds there."

Remus blushed in the dark.

"Let's go!"

Sirius grabbed the cloak from the floor and peeked through the door before pulling Remus out into the corridor. Both boys blinked owlishly, letting their eyes adjust to the brighter light. Sirius grinned and slung his arm around Remus' waist, pulling him closer.

"Sirius! We can't here! Come on, back to the dorm. Please?"

Sirius looked sulky, but allowed Remus to pull away.

"Only if you promise I can do whatever I want the minute we get to the room."

Remus blushed again.

"All right, just-come on now, ok?"

"Race you!"

The two boys took off down the corridors at a headlong sprint. By the time they reached the portrait hole they were breathless and laughing and Sirius gave Remus an inappropriate grope as he climbed through. Fortunately, the common room was empty. Everyone had probably already made their way to the Great Hall.

"We're not in the room yet!"

"Close enough." Sirius smiled wickedly and Remus ran, taking the stairs two at a time.

Remus tumbled into the room laughing but pulled up short as he saw James and Peter sitting on Peter's bed, the one closest to the door, and grinning expectantly. Sirius came through hot on his heels.

"Wotcher, Remus. Sirius." James looked like the cat that ate the cream. Peter was giggling.

"What's going on?" Remus asked. He lifted one eyebrow, not sure if he should be scared or intrigued by their display.

Sirius came up behind Remus and pulled him close, circling his arms firmly around his waist. His chin rested on Remus' shoulder as he grinned at James and Peter. Remus went red, while James and Peter collapsed on the bed laughing.

"Like you don't know!" James' breath was so short he had trouble getting the words out.

Unsuccessfully trying to shrug out of Sirius' arms, Remus frowned.

"What are you talking about it?"

James sat up and stared at him. He gave a little wave of his hand.

"You know. The potion."

"_What_ potion?" he asked with an exasperated growl.

"The potion," James said slowly. "The one Pete and I gave Sirius earlier."

"It was my idea to put it in the chocolate frogs," Peter added proudly.

Remus started to feel very cold. Sirius just ignored the whole thing, nuzzling against Remus' throat again and making contented little sounds. Remus couldn't move.

"What potion did you give him?" he asked carefully.

James had begun to look uncomfortable, Peter merely confused. Their grins had faded.

"The other day in class, when we made _amortentia_, I nicked some of yours."

The frozen feeling gave way to a wave of utter sickness. Remus felt like he might faint, and he must've gone white because the room had gone darker and suddenly James was standing in front of him, eyes wide and concerned, and...James of all people couldn't possibly be afraid, could he?

With a whooshing rush, sound came back to normal levels and he could hear James' voice. The light got brighter and Remus could see only too well.

"Remus," James croaked. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't-" He bit his lip, looked over at Peter who stared back with a mix of dawning horror and disbelief.

"I've-the antidote-it's here." He pressed a small vial into Remus' limp hand and curled his fingers around it.

"I'm-" James looked at Remus, at Sirius who still stood so close, wrapped around Remus and beaming.

"We'll go now-to dinner. We'll save you a seat."

Without another word James and Peter disappeared from the room, and Remus was left all alone with Sirius.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Oh, come and stir my cauldron_

_And if you do it right_

_I__'ll boil you up some hot, strong love_

_To keep you warm tonight"_

Remus dug his fingernails into his scalp, screwing up his face in cringing shame as unrelenting memories rolled through his brain with vibrant and excruciating clarity.

"You fool. You utter utter idiot," he moaned.

The enormity of the situation was overwhelming and Remus simply had no idea what to do. That was why he was now miserably huddled in the cellar of Honeydukes, his back against a crate of acid pops and his knees drawn up to his chest. He didn't want anyone to come looking for him, not that anyone except for James was likely to, all things considered. James, once he had to time get his head around it a bit more, would almost certainly feel it was his duty.

They couldn't know for sure where he was unless they'd been looking at the map while he was still in the tunnel, but there were still only so many plausible options for where he could be. James would eventually find him, but at least he had bought himself a little more time.

Remus wondered what they all were doing now, if Sirius had swallowed the antidote as he had asked, if he had gone down to dinner to meet James and Peter. He wondered what he and James had said to each other, and if Sirius was angry with the other two for initiating this utter cock up, or if the anger would be solely reserved for him. He wouldn't blame Sirius at all. He could hardly bear the thought of what he might have to say to him, or that Sirius might not want to say anything to him ever again.

_How could I be so stupid?_ Remus thought. _How could I be so-_

He hunched into a tighter ball. He had been presumptuous and gullible and, yes, maybe a bit incredulous, but, oh, he'd ignored that feeling faster than decently proper. He had taken advantage of Sirius, his best mate, when he should have _known_ that something was dodgy, that it was too good to be true. How could he have lived with all of them all these years and _not_ been able to pick up on the inherent wrongness of the situation?

And now everything was completely ruined. James and Peter and Sirius might have been able to accept Remus outing himself under normal circumstances, maybe a half-drunken confession of his general preferences over a pint of butterbeer, but how could they ever get past this?

He hadn't just revealed a burgeoning preference for boys with some awkward, stuttering admission. No, he had gotten one off with Sirius (a not in his right mind, Sirius), in a storage cupboard in the middle of the day. A sickening, roiling feeling twisted through his guts again. It was a sensation Remus had become very familiar with over the last few hours. Humiliation made his cheeks flame for the hundredth time that evening. He wanted to cry, but that, at least, he wouldn't allow himself.

The really painful thing was that he knew that his friends _wouldn't_ shun him. They would do their best to pretend it hadn't happened, hiding their discomfort and their pity behind a routine of daily scuffling and insults and homework. Even Sirius-Remus' chest hitched-even Sirius would probably forgive him.

He would probably come to him privately and ask to talk. He would tell Remus that he understood that Remus hadn't known and that he hadn't done anything wrong, and not to worry about it. He'd make some joke about James and Peter being enormous arses, and he would look at Remus kindly and say that even though he wasn't that way, he was fine with Remus being so, they were still mates.

And every time Remus was in the same room with them they would be thinking about what he had done, about how much he wanted Sirius: in the showers, at night in their beds, at breakfast while they were eating their food, in the classroom, during midnight excursions under the cloak, mornings after the full moon. Anytime and everywhere those thoughts would be there in the back of all their minds.

In the end, he wasn't sure how long he huddled there in the dark before James finally found him. He felt too stiff to uncurl his limbs, so he didn't bother lifting his forehead from his knees when James said his name.

"Hullo, James." His voice was dull and scratchy with disuse.

"Remus," James said again, displaying a rare case of uncertainty. "Are you-_ow_!"

James let out a volley of curses and lit his wand, limping over to sit next to Remus.

"It's dark in here."

"Very astute."

"Yeah." James sighed, pushing a hand up through the back of his hair. "Look, mate, it's all right. Well, it's not all right. I mean, _you_ probably don't think so, but it is. I mean, it will be."

Remus gave a choked, dark laugh.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Moony. It was a stupid stupid joke, and I shouldn't've-"

_No, you shouldn't've_, Remus thought viciously.

"I just thought it would be a laugh. That he would, you know, and you would-."

Remus could hear James swallow.

"I thought you'd come back to the dorm, hex Pete and I three ways from Sunday, and we'd all have a good laugh."

"I know," Remus whispered.

And that's what should have happened if he wasn't such a freak, a self-deluded freak.

"Sirius, he's-"

"Did you talk to him?" Remus interrupted.

"No, not since...before." James turned to look at Remus, pushing his glasses up his nose and frowning in concentration. "But listen, Moony. He'll be fine with...things. I know he will."

"Fine," Remus said flatly.

"Yeah, he won't, he won't-"

"Hold it against me?" Oh no, the fact that Remus had allowed them to hump each other off in a grimy cupboard like dogs in heat, that was nothing really. "James, don't even..."

"He won't be upset, not at you, by what happened." James voice was firm. Certain.

"You can't know that. You don't even know..." Remus said in agonized tones.

"Know what?" James' hand combed through his hair again. "What-what exactly happened?"

"Nothing." Remus curled up tight. "Nevermind."

"Did-" James swallowed thickly again. "Did you-"

"No!" Remus denied with a furious shake of his head. "No, not...not _that_".

James' relief was almost tangible.

"You should come back with me, Remus."

"I don't want to leave."

"I know. I know, but it's late and you have to be exhausted. And, you know you can't hide here forever. It's better to just get it over with."

_Easy for you to say_, Remus thought blackly.

"Where's Peter?"

"In the dorm getting ready for bed."

"How is he...taking this?" Remus felt a morbid curiosity.

James laughed a little.

"I think you broke him just a bit, but he's worried about you, too, you know."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Remus finally raised his bloodshot eyes and stared at James.

"Is this going to make everything weird forever?" he asked with such raw vulnerability that James almost winced.

"Not forever," he said honestly. "But maybe for a while."

Remus nodded, looking down at his knees again.

"Where is..." he choked on the name.

"I don't know for sure. Peter and I were watching on the map earlier and he was all over the place, the dungeons, near the forest, an empty classroom. Pacing around maybe." James shrugged. "I left the map with Peter. Knew you must've taken one of the tunnels."

"So he could be back by now."

"Yeah, he could be."

James rose with ease, holding a hand out for Remus.

"Come on, then," he said bracingly. "There's nothing for it. Besides, I'm quite selfishly hoping you'll serve as a distraction so he doesn't gut me on sight."

"An honorable but messy way to go."

"There's my Moony and his gallows humor."

In that vein, Remus was able to take James' offered hand and plod back through the tunnel in weary resignation. Aside from leaving Hogwarts permanently, there was really nothing else he could do. He tried to take James' words to heart, and to shore up his watery insides for the coming confrontation with Sirius.

But before they got back to the tower, once again Remus was surprised by Sirius appearing out from underneath the invisibility cloak.

"James," he said, though he was looking straight at Remus with an unreadable expression. "I need to speak to Remus. Alone."

James looked torn, his expression wavering between guilt, consciousness, and protectiveness. Finally, he jerked his head in a nod.

"I'll see you in a bit, yeah?" He clapped Remus on the shoulder in what was supposed to be a reassuring manner. "All right, Moony?"

Sirius answered instead.

"Yeah, I'll definitely be seeing you for a _talk_, as well."

James blanched, casting one last look between them before bustling off back to the tower.

Remus and Sirius were left in the middle of the corridor staring at each other. Sirius was still unreadable and Remus didn't know what he looked like. He felt hollowed out, like a discarded insect husk. Formulating anything resembling words was beyond him.

"Will you come with me? I want to show you something."

Remus nodded dumbly, his feet followed Sirius automatically as he moved down the hall and turned into an intersecting corridor.

"Here," Sirius said, ushering Remus into a classroom that looked like it hadn't been used in the past hundred years. Everything was dusty and battered and scattered in hodge podge shambles around the room. The scent of sea air, jasmine, and the oh so familiar scent of something Remus had never been quite able to describe, though he knew it intimately, wafted around him as he entered. Remus saw the cauldron full of simmering liquid in the center of the room and understood. His heart stuttered painfully in his chest.

"Where did this come from?" Remus asked, his voice hoarse, barely more than a whisper.

"I made it tonight. Had to run about like mad to find all the ingredients."

Sirius moved behind him.

"Do you know what I smell?"

Remus shook his head, his fingers twisting in the cuffs of his jumper.

"You know that smell you get when you've been outside all day and you come back in and there's that crisp, sharp odor that clings to your clothes and hair-that outside sort of smell?"

Remus did know it, and he understood what it might represent to Sirius: freedom, escape, friendship, everything he hadn't had at Grimmauld Place. He nodded slowly.

"And there's ginger."

Remus knew it reminded him of Christmas, of Mrs. Potter's cookies, and that awful ginger tea he liked so much, and safety and family and belonging. He understood this one, too.

"And last...last there's lemon."

"Lemon?"

"Yes, A very strong scent of lemon."

Remus risked a sideways look at Sirius, who seemed merely to be gazing at the cauldron in deep contemplation. He didn't get this one at all. Didn't get _this_ at all. Sirius' intentions were a mystery and his actions utterly confusing.

"Aren't you going to ask me about the lemon?" Sirius prompted.

"All right," Remus said. "Why lemon?"

"Dittany smells like lemon. Had you forgotten?"

Still, Sirius stared into the cauldron as if it held the key to unfogging their futures.

"Dittany."

"Yes."

Sirius finally turned toward Remus and stepped closer.

"Dittany. As in the salve Pomfrey has always given you to use on your cuts and bruises after the full."

Remus' eyebrows drew together in a frown. The fatigue and stress had to be getting to him because what Sirius was saying, was implying, just didn't add up to any comprehensible possibility.

"You-"

"I smell you, Remus."

He didn't touch Remus, only looked at him with wide, sincere eyes, and his voice _was_ kind, just like Remus had imagined.

"I wish I would have told you sooner, that it didn't happen because James is a gigantic twat, but I-I don't regret what happened at all."

Sirius dropped his eyes, shifting uncertainly in the silence.

"If you..." He frowned. "I thought..._do_ you-"

"Sirius," Remus said, gathering all his courage. "You _did_ take the antidote?"

"What? Yes! _Yes_!" he growled. "Don't even try to-"

With an almost unbearable giddiness suffusing his body, Remus grinned. He knew he probably looked like a complete, raving lunatic, but Sirius didn't seem to mind because he was grinning back just as stupidly. Then Remus was pushed up against a filthy desk, probably covered in hundred year old cobwebs, and they were kissing, still kissing as Sirius shoved him up onto the desk, then tugged his hips closer again. They stayed like that, Sirius' hands on his hips, Remus pressed closed, his legs wrapped around Sirius, his hands buried in the thick dark hair, and their mouths seemingly locked together permanently.

"You know," Remus finally murmured right against Sirius' mouth, "I'm glad I decided not to check out _1001 Ways to Kill Yourself with Your Wand_ from the library today, after all."

Sirius laughed darkly.

"Oh, it might still come in handy."

"Are you very angry at them?"

Sirius pursed his lips. "Sort of. It _could_ have gone all pear-shaped. I mean, it did for a while because you ran off so quickly. But...it isn't anymore, and I suppose in a roundabout way I have James to thank for that."

"So no violent deaths, then?"

"We'll see after I give Prongs and Wormtail their surprise in the morning."

Remus raised an eyebrow high and Sirius just grinned, nodding at the cauldron. Remus threw back his head and laughed.

"I knew there was a good reason I fancy you."


End file.
